I made 64 icons from the Season 3 photos of Dex! They are all of Ronon Dex, and feel free to use any of them you like.
I just have an odd little nitpick/query that I thought that I would share *grin*:
I just don't understand the number of Atlantis fics that make a point of mentioning that Elizabeth is older than John. Unless there is some info in the show that I missed, I would assume that the actors are playing their age, or close to it? If that is the case, well Torri's only about a year older than Joe.(omg, I'm such a geek that I know that *grin*)
I only nitpick, because some of the fic make it sound like a significant age difference. I was just wondering what was up? A year is obviously not a big age difference. Is age difference a big thing in the 'ship? Are they indeed playing significantly different ages than their own? *shrug* Just me wondering about useless trivia *grin*
Characters: Rodney/Carson/Sheppard, Teyla, Wier, Maj. Lorne, Ronon, blah blah blah
Warning: This is the third installment of my crack!fic series. And it's SLASH
Omg, It's the doctor from hell!
Elizabeth realized that today was going to be filled with sighs as she sighed once more upon seeing the team s early return. Covered head to toe in mud and the majority missing essential sections of their protective gear. She tried to glare at the soldiers in the gate room who were snickering at their commanding officer and the others, but she failed, quite miserably. Seeing that Dr. Lewis was already ushering them to the infirmary, her bun as tight as ever, Elizabeth assumed that she had been waiting for them to return. The look on John s face showed great displeasure.
----==----
CANT YOU AT LEAST WARM YOU HANDS?!?!?! could be heard all the way from the transporter. CARSON! I WANT YOU TO FIRE THIS WOMAN! NOW! Rodney had become accustomed to Carson performing all the post-mission checkups. Apparently this was the first time he had encountered Dr. Lewis, he didn t know that complaining only made it funnier err, worse.
Although loud, Dr. Lewis voice showed no signs of shouting. Dr. McKay the lubricant will warm up. If you would stop clenching this will be over soon. Rodney s response was a strangled whimper that was obviously made through clenched teeth.
All of the nurses and doctors that Elizabeth could see were turning purple from trying not to laugh by holding their breath. The returning team s faces, all but Teyla and Maj. Lorne s second in command Sarah, were white lipped with fear.
John, do ye think she ll go easy on me if I give her a raise before I go in there? Elizabeth felt sorry for the man, last week this whole level heard Carson giving her a verbal reprimand for neglecting the comfort of the patients.
I won t let the scary lady hurt you buddy! Any assumption that John was unaffected went out the window at this point. But, alas, he didn t stop there. It s too late for Pookie, but you Snookie, I can save.
John s men looked at him in horror. John didn t notice; he was too busy patting Carson s hair down, only to reshape it back into its standard Mohawk like form.
Rodney exited the curtain and was led to a vacant bed, slightly limping and going from one shade of red to the next in a never ending cycle
Beckett, you re next! Bellowed from the other side of the still closed curtain. Dr. Lewis sounded like it was Christmas morning and she knew she had been a good girl.
Carson shuddered and slowly walked towards the curtain.
Ronon s face was aimed at Carson, a look of pity and mourning of a lost soldier on his features.
John was being held down by Teyla as he began to shout. You keep your abnormally large fingers out of my boyfriend s ass! Isn t it bad enough that you damaged Rodney? Teyla had to hold both his arms behind his back, she wondered briefly how to shut him up before he said in a defeated voice: Now I m not gonna fit in Rodney and Carson as snugly. I like it tight.
Elizabeth noticed one of Carson s nurses, Mary, going towards John with a Game Boy in her hand. Everyone in the room either looked away or closed their eyes tightly to keep from laughing as John graciously accepted the Game Boy. OOOOHHH!! KIRBY!!
John proceeded to jump up and down in his excitement.
There was a shriek from behind the curtain followed by Carson running out holding up his muddy pants, a look of horror on his face. Mary led him to a bed near Rodney s, but Carson ignored her and climbed next to Rodney in his bed.
Sheppard! Bellowed Dr. Lewis.
John skipped to the curtain, never taking his eyes off Kirby. Ooh! I just won 200 points!
----==----
Teyla sighed in amusement as she watched Zelenka bounce around his lab, happily taking over for Dr. McKay, after all, yelling and insulting people is a great stress reliever. Although she is amused, Teyla wishes to once again go off-world with her team. Col. Sheppard and Dr. McKay currently being held in the infirmary for detox meant she had much time to spend on the mainland with her people, but a week of being on one planet caused her to grow restless.
She could have always gone off-world with Ronon, Elizabeth would have allowed a two-person team for some missions, but Ronon was too busy sitting at Maj. Lorne s bedside. A brief memory passed through her mind of walking in on Ronon giving Lorne a sponge bath. Smirking to herself, Teyla discretely approached Radek from behind and licked his neck.
Shall we invite Elizabeth to lunch in my quarters? A single eyebrow rising as Teyla spoke. Seeing Radek s vigorous nodding, Teyla grabbed Radek and was out the door and radioing Elizabeth in 5 seconds flat.
----==----
Two weeks have passed since the return to PX-420 and there has been no change in the narcotic state of those effected by the mud.
It s as if they are still covered in it. Said Dr. Lewis. I gave them all thorough body searches, there is no mud on them.
Yes, Doctor, we were there for five of those searches. Elizabeth fought the urge to cringe at thorough . It didn t work. How could this be happening? Is the narcotic substance actually present in their blood or is it just in their heads?
The traces of the enzyme in the last tests this morning are the same as when they were first tested two weeks ago. We are trying to figure out if it is somehow being reintroduced somehow, or if it is just a build up from the last time they were there. Dr. Lewis looked unsure of her words even as she spoke them.
Teyla gently began to speak. I highly doubt it is a case of it building up in their systems. Maj. Lorne and his team, along with Dr. Beckett, have never been to PX-420 before. Therefore, they would not be going through the same detox process as Col. Sheppard and Dr. McKay. Correct? Unsure of her statement, Teyla looked to her lovers for reassurance.
Only Ronon and Dr. Heightmeyer noticed the small smiles that Elizabeth and Radek sent to Teyla.
I think Miss Emmagan is correct. It seems highly logical that they are being reintroduced to the substance somehow. Have monitoring procedures been put into effect? Hermiod spoke as he always does: like he is talking to children.
You think someone is poisoning them? Radek s expression shows how appalled he is at the notion. Who in Atlantis would do such a thing?
Well, we will just have to find out won t we? Elizabeth s voice was stern, yet her eyes were unsure.
----==----
Elizabeth sat with Teyla and Sgt. Stackhouse as they watched the infirmary footage of all seven people, eight actually, since Ronon was asleep in the chair next to Lorne s unconscious yet still giggling body. Stackhouse tried in vain to suppress his laughter every time he glanced at the screen showing Sheppard, Beckett, and McKay forming a blob of moving blanket. They were awake and doing something under the sheets.
Elizabeth, being tired of the awkward silence, decided to lighten the mood, or at least get a good laugh. At least we can t hear what they re doing.
Both Teyla and Stackhouse gave her the most incredulous stares before laughing hysterically.
The laughter died down and they saw it. Dr. Kavanagh sneaking into the infirmary with a Rubbermaid container full of mud. They watched in shock as he went to each of their beds and placed a small dab on the inside of their ankles. It looked as if he was pressing it into their skin then moving onto the next and doing the same. When he got to the last person, he went back to the first and wiped off the evidence.
Security, pick up Dr. Kavanagh on his way back to his quarters and put him into holding cell Steve . Stackhouse said into his radio, his voice full of wonder.
----==----
Dr. Kavanagh, what possessed you to drug not only your boss, but the Commanding Military officer, Chief Medical Officer, and four soldiers? Rage flowed through Elizabeth. It would be pointless to say she was a bit pissed, wouldn t it?
I, umm, its none of your business. Kavanagh said, being difficult as usual, sticking his nose in the air.
I think the reason for your treason is the business of everyone in this room. Insisted Col. Cadwell.
Lowering his head and speaking quieter than a whisper, Kavanagh spoke. Miko.
Elizabeth s eyebrows shot to her forehead. One thought ran through her mind: What the Fuck? What the fuck? She hadn t meant to say it, but no one objected, they were wondering the same.
Dr. Kavanagh spoke louder this time; When McKay is there, she is always at his heels, waiting for something brilliant . When Zelenka is in charge and McKay s gone, she, sometimes looks at me. Kavanagh is smiling now. She pretends she s looking at the whiteboard, but I know she s looking at me.
You one sick fuck. Everyone turned to look at Radek, but Radek being mini-fuzzy-McKay didn t even notice. She not looking at you, shit for brain, she looking at equations on WHITEBOARD! You make Rodney high so that I can be in charge of incompetent people just so you can molest Dr. Miko with your beady little eyes?!
Teyla arched a puzzled eyebrow as Radek stormed out of Steve s room screaming in Czech.
tbc
Stargate Atlantis: The Official Companion, Season 1![[info]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
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