Fandom: From Eroica With Love (Unfortunately) This fic is painful in its mangled tenses and sentence structure.
An excruciating attempt at humor called "
Sleeping Beauty." This fic is rated T for Terrible. (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)
Earl Dorian Red Gloria aka Eroica *groan* stands beside a silently seething Major Klaus Heinz Von Dem Eberbach aka Iron Klaus
AKA the Major! *double groan* in one of the underground chambers of one of the oxford As opposed to Oxford, with a capital "O."
libraries, searching for a book. It seems that the reason Dorian had been hired this time by NATO was to steal an old book, only later to find that it had been donated to this oxford library after the owner had passed away.
PLOT HOLE! (Silly me, I'm assuming there is a plot.) NATO intelligence is hardly likely to mess up THAT badly. This is something the Major would've found out in advance! Darling is this the book you seek?
I see OutOfCharacter!Dorian in the near future.
Dorian purrs out his words with no thought of self-preservation.
Or proper tenses.
He pulls out the ugliest book from the over packed shelf, which instantly changes in his hands,
The shelf changes?
becoming gold gilded
Gilded?
and Jem
GEM!
encrusted with the words Sleeping Beauty engraved on the front.
Klaus for once not reacting in his usual way,
He's trying to figure out WTF that sentence means.
shoots Dorian
No, Major, shoot me! Put me out of my misery!
a horrified glance and goes to push the book from Dorian s hands.
Why?
But just as he touches the book, it glows in ethereal light and then drops open on the first page on a beautifully carved podium.
I think I'm going to gag on these descriptors.
There was no podium there before. And there is no Earl or Major now.
Lucky bastards.
An aged voice
Huh?
thunders through the room with authority and in its best storytelling tone,
"Coming to a theatre near you!"
and every few sentences it booms the book turns a page.
Going quickly to the end! Please!
I'd like to say it gets better, but we all know I'd be lying through my teeth.
Darth Stan From
Raven and Red by SomeKindOfRomance:
The whole class glanced up as the 17 year old raven haired boy, all clad in black, made his way to the back of the room. "Mhm," he answered with a bit of sarcasm in his voice. Mrs. Broderick looked pretty pissed. She hated Stan with a passion.. In fact the black haired boy wasn't really liked by a lot. He had had a falling out with his close knit group of friends a few years ago, and drifted over to the dark side, just as he had in elementary school. He now hung around the goths and was called 'Raven' by everyone. He kicked people's asses when they called him Stan.Yes,
that Stan.
Kikyou Lovers grab your pitchforks Even if you hate Kikyou, this fic is an insult to human kind. It completely ignores the need for puncuation, is completely OOC, and isn't really a story!
Title- Inuyasha HATES Kikyo
Summary-well haha the funniezt thing ive eva done in 2 minutes!
Gems- "F*** off you ugly hoe . I love Kagome, so get your dead fugly face out of mine! said Inuyasha, next to Kagome.
So he just started to pash Kagome in front of Kikyo which made her cry and run away.
Doctor Who quotes: Poor Turlough I just found a hideous
Doctor Who story featuring Turlough, Tegan, and the Fifth Doctor. It's called
The Coward. Poor Turlough. Or perhaps I should call him
Tulough or
Turloug, since the author manages to misspell his name twice.
The author's note sets the tone.
Hey! I'm a huuuuge fan of the new Who! And I watched the old Who after that, now I loooove Tegan! I hate Turlough though and Tegan should have got rid of him. So in my fic she does the right thing!She goes home instead of returning to the TARDIS at the end of
Arc of Infinity?
After a paragraph about "the evil alien" (Turlough), the author's bias emerges just a tiny bit.
The Doctor had another friend, she was called Tegan and she was a great and smart woman who always stood for herself.Because standing for someone else would have been rather difficult. Tegan, who was noted for her extreme intelligence even in the company of Nyssa, Adric, and the Doctor, would certainly know this.
Most of the Doctor's other friends just acted like he was prefect but not Tegan.Did she act like he was headmaster? Prime minister?
The Doctor had taut her to fight swords.Because they were always getting attacked by those nasty pieces of metal.
"Go back to Triton and stay there!" Yelled Tegan.Turlough fled to Neptune's moon as instructed, but quickly died because the atmosphere there was unbreathable. He might have had better luck if he had instead gone to Trion, his home planet.
There is more badness in the story that I have not quoted. For instance, the first line is hilarious, and the bits that prove Turlough is an alien and also a coward are too good to miss.
Stargate Atlantis